House Rules

  1. Leave prejudices, pretentiousness and argumentativeness at the door. Our door staff will ensure they can be collected on the way out.
  2. Gentlemen to remove their hats and nothing else.
  3. Ladies to keep handbags close.
  4. All guests to be signed in. Identification may be required. A video card, Vida coffee card or gym membership will not suffice.
  5. Members are reminded that they are responsible for their guests. A good barometer is whether you would leave that person alone with your grandmother.
  6. Mobile phones are the death of basic social interaction – please use with consideration for your immediate company and other members.
  7. No whining or whinging – everyone has issues.
  8. Management requests and requires the having of fun. Members and guests are asked to adhere to this rule at all times.
  9. No name dropping – we all know somebody.
  10. No shouting or other loud behaviour, and definitely no whispering.
  11. No fighting, no talking about fighting or play fighting. Someone could lose an eye.
  12. We don’t do credit. Ever. Refer to Lehman Brothers example of 2008.
  13. Gentlemen are not to introduce themselves to any ladies.
  14. Following on from Rule 13, the seducing or propositioning of female members, guests or staff are therefore a no-no.
  15. Ladies are advised to politely refer any gentleman to Rules 13 and 14.  
  16. Ladies are free to start a conversation. If you are shy, please ask a waitress to make the introduction on your behalf.
  17. Alcohol is known to pass our staff’s lips, unfortunately not on duty. Any drinks bought are gratefully consumed when they let their hair down.
  18. We welcome feedback – constructive when sober is always better.
  19. On leaving, please don't linger. Bid your farewells inside. We have neighbours and they need their sleep.
  20. Don't drink and drive; it's bad for business. We’d be happy to call you a taxi or those people who drive your car home.

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